Three months old....WHAT??

I can't believe it's been three months since I was laying in the hospital room anxiously waiting to have a c-section but very eager to meet the little person that has been growing inside of me for 38 weeks. I still think of the moment I was lying on the bed with a curtain blocking my view, extremely nervous & squeezing Devans hand when I hear them say "It's A Boy!!" and I can't do anything but just cry. 

I don't know if it's because I have a little 18 month running around but it doesn't seem as if Dublin was my itty bitty baby for very long at all. 

He is 3 months and very aware of when he is left alone in a room or when Mommy or Daddy step away for a second. He is very vocal right now and will laugh at just about anything. I love that he is aware of when people are talking to him and he will try and talk back in his precious little baby boy voice. 

Don't let him fool you though, even though he is extremely precious he has a bit of anger problems. If he is hungry and you do anything other then prepare him to eat (change his diaper)....OH. BOY. Watch out! He is not afraid of letting you know how he really feels. After having Ireland and watching her grow in to her little (BIG) personality, I can already see Dublin at 18 months and this anger coming out even more. I'm going to need all the books I can get my hands on to help me conquer this. 

He loves Ireland and is always smiling when she comes over to talk to him. I am so excited how close in age they are and pray that they will be good friends :-)

Another good friend he's going to have (I pray) is his cousin Evangeline who is 3 weeks younger then him. I'm excited to watch them grow together and be the type of cousins I always wish I had. 

Even though he is 3 months old, unlike his sister who was always awake and wanting to know what the next thing of the day was going to be, Dublin still enjoys his sleep most of the day. I'll take it while I can. 

Sleepless Nights

Ever since Dublin has been born I don't know who loses more sleep, me or Ireland. Since she was 9 months she's been sleeping by herself and she has done great sleeping through the night. I used to think it was rough when she would wake up sometimes at 7:30am ready to start the day, until Dublin was born. 

It seems like the week we came home with Dublin, Ireland has difficulty sleeping a full night. I would say 4 nights out of the week she wakes up at random times (12 a.m., 3 a.m., 5 a.m. etc) and will cry and scream. It's not night terrors because when I go in to her room to comfort her she is standing up and aware of what's going on. It breaks my heart even if at the moment I'm half asleep and irritable, craving my pillow. All she really wants is to be held and sleep on my shoulder because any attempt to place her back in bed causes her to scream in terror. There are several mornings when I know Dublin is going to sleep a few more hours, (and no one else is home or up) that I go and get Ireland as she screaming and go lay on the couch with her and sleep a few hours longer. 

(4 a.m.)

Well, Dev and I think we have solved the issue. I had mentioned that the way she was acting almost seemed like she's scared of the dark. Ireland has a sound machine that has a projector that scrolls a disc of pictures (Moons, Sheep, Cows, etc..) and we turned it on for her and it's been a week now and she has done great. My poor baby.....I was always terrified of the dark as a kid; just ask my sister Aimee. We shared a room  until I was 9 and she was 10 and I can't remember how old I was when I stopped but I used to have to have the closet light on along with the bathroom light on and our bedroom door cracked. I can relate to my little girls fear of the dark. It's not fun, especially when you're alone. 

Eighteen Months Old

Oh boy...where do I begin. 

I love this girl more then I can explain. 

Ireland is such a little pistol and very (VERY) strong willed.

She has grown so much in the last few months and I'm not sure I like it. There are times I think she is older then she is or actually understands. She definitely understands when she is testing us, which she does quite frequently. Dev and I try hard not to threaten punishment or scare her with punishment *we are far from perfect though*. We are currently (and I'm sure for many years) trying to get to the heart issue and teach biblical truth rather then she "just needs to obey".

She is starting to say so much that it seems like every day she learns a new word and what they mean. It's so neat to watch her grow and learn something new everyday. Now the whole "throwing a fit" thing, not really sure where she is learning that *wink Such a sinful heart at such a young age.

One of my favorite things is to watch her run and play with her cousins. She gets so excited watching them run & laugh and I love watching her light up and follow. We are currently working on the whole sharing thing and snatching things which both always result in screaming and complaining which is where "reaching the heart issue" comes in to play.

I am looking forward to another 18 months and where she'll be and how much more of her personality comes out.

One Month Old

I know I'm running behind here but I'm still getting used to having two under the age of 2 and using my time wisely with just 24 hours in a day. 

Well a month has gone by with our sweet little Dublin.

Majority of his time is spent sleeping which is okay with me right now cause it's helping me get used to having him and Ireland. Also I know he is growing while he's sleeping and I can't wait for his little personality to show. 

He's not as aware of what's going on around him as Ireland was at 1 month and I am totally fine with that. Finally I have a baby who lets me cradle them and is okay just to lie on my shoulder and not care what's going on.  Don't get me wrong, I love how aware Ireland was/is and how much it still shows in her personality.

I will admit I had a few rough nights of crying. Me not the kids. Even though it was only 15 months earlier that I did this for the first time, it was still very fresh and new to me again. Waking up several times at night to feed and change diapers and praying that when I lay him back down he will fall asleep. It was rough because poor Dublin was very gassy at night and would just scream and it would make me so stressed cause I didn't know how to help him. I would stay up late holding him just praying for his poor little tummy.  After a month I was able to figure out what was causing it and what he likes and how we all can get some sleep. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I LOVE how much Ireland loves her baby brother. I know they'll have their little tiffs and when they do I'm pulling these pictures out and making them reenact it *smirk

(Notice the tears in her eyes as she was crying and begging to hold him) 

Even though it's a totally different world for me right now I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Jesus, Thank You

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

As most know but probably not many, Devan lost his job at Dish Network in mid June and has been applying every day since. At first we were very optimistic and knew God had a better plan for us. After a few weeks of no call backs of either yes we want an interview or no, we both became very discouraged and wondered why God was allowing it to be so difficult to get a job. We understand the economy is bad and not many people are hiring but yet laying off, we just couldn't understand that even something as simple as fast food wasn't calling back. 

After a couple of months (yes I said months) he was finally getting call backs for interviews. At this point we were so excited and of course praying constantly the entire time. After the interviews, Devan was told that he would hear back within the week. A week would go by so Dev would call and either leave a voice mail for them or they would answer and tell him they are still deciding. After about 5 or 6 of those you tend to fall back in to getting discouraged and wondering where God is at that point. We still were trusting that obviously God has something even better. Even though every interview opportunity we thought, 'This HAS to be it! How can God have anything better then THIS?' it would fall through and not work out. "Why God?? Why? We have a little girl and a baby on the way...what are you trying to teach us through this"

Pastor Ryan preached on praying boldly and I tried really hard to do just that, and that's what we (I) were doing. I know for myself I began to struggle with even praying about it because I felt like every prayer for every interview was the same. It's like I didn't know how to pray anymore. 

We have such an awesome God who is so kind and loving to send people our way to encourage us and point us back to truth. We have not had an income for 5 months and by Gods Grace we have been able to pay our bills, which means we've been able to keep our vehicle and all of our stuff in storage. You would think in a situation like this, your car would be repossessed or your storage would be auctioned out cause you couldn't pay. The first month Dev didn't have a job was the only month we were withdrawn by a lot in our bank account and at that point we were trusting that God had a better plan and it was in his hands. God has provided in so many ways to keep us from dealing with that again. He is just so amazing. 

This was always a great reminder for me when I was struggling with doubt, fear, anxiety etc. . . God is so much bigger then I am and I only see right now when God sees the BIG picture (5 months ahead). God knew that I would need Devan's help and support after the baby came and that was so kind because 4 weeks after Dublin was born God provided a job for Devan working full time.  Dev and I never thought it would be so long before he found another job but by God's grace and love here we are and we are so thankful. What a sovereign God we serve!!!

Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, just give me Jesus!!

He's not heavy, he's my brother. . .

This last month has been such a roller coaster for me but I wouldn't change a thing. I wake up every morning ready for a new adventure. The adventure might not always be a fun or exciting one but it's always a surprise. 

I just wanted to share how much this little girl is in love with her baby brother. No matter who walks in the room, Ireland is determined for you to know that her baby brother is in the room. The second you walk in her room to wake her up in the mornings, the first thing out of her mouth is "baby??" 

She isn't too sure how to be gentle yet or understand just how fragile he is right now as she tends to squeeze him to death when she hugs him or she wants to pat his back cause he's crying and it turns in to her looking like she's giving him the Heimlich. 

She could sit in my lap holding him for hours. Even when he's crying in her arms it does not phase her, in fact I think she prefers it so she knows he's safe. If I try taking him away to comfort him she fights for him. It's rather sweet. 

I hope this lasts forever.